This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. <br>Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and or ganize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this!; You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
;** AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT EVER!!! **
女儿的新学校Robert Service Sr. Public School
新的玩具 - Garmin GPSMAP 60CSx 手持GPS
2007/09/04 14:12
没有抓过萤火虫，但是一起看过星空；没有去过迪斯尼，但是一起看过电影。。。。。。形式并不重要，内容才有意义。我常常想，我要感谢的是我的孩子，而不是让孩子感谢我。孩子给予我们的是最无保留的、最纯洁的、最真实的爱。
冥冥之中，有一个人能做你的儿女，这也是缘分使然。
你买到命名权，可以根据自己的喜好，给孩子命名。
你可以每天感觉新生命的活力。
你每天晚上可以在被子里挠痒痒，听窃窃的嬉笑。
你可以得到真诚的爱，超越自己心灵的承受。你可以得到最甜蜜的亲吻、最温柔的拥抱。
除此之外，付出16万美元，你可以看到对石头和云彩，甚至热饼干的永无止境的好奇。
你时刻有一双小手握住，那手上常有的果酱或是巧克力。
你总有个伙伴陪同，一起吹肥皂泡、放风筝、挖沙洞。
你可以不顾一切地欢笑，即使那天老板骂人，或者股票跌得一塌糊涂。
除此之外，付出16万美元，你能够刻南瓜脸，玩捉迷藏，抓萤火虫。
你有借口，可以百读那些自己年幼时喜爱的读物，星期六早上看动画片，看迪斯尼电影，对着星星许愿。你还可以拿吸铁块在冰箱门上摆出虹、心、花的形状。你也能够成为一个伟大的英雄，从车库顶上取下飞盘，从脚踏车上取下助轮，从手上挑出小刺，给游泳池放水，或者做小球队的教练，虽然那个队从来没有赢过，但每场赛后都能得到冰淇淋奖励。
除此之外，付出16万美元，你坐在历史的头一排座位上，见证人行走的第一步，讲出的第一个字，第一次约会，第一次开车上街。你能够成为不朽。
你为你的家族之树添加了一个新枝，如果你幸运，那枝上将长出更多的小枝，代代相传。
你接受到大学里得不到的教育，心理学、护理学、司法学、沟通学。
在孩子眼里，你是上帝之下的第一人。你具有最大的力量，能够医治伤痛，驱赶床下的恶魔，安抚破碎的心灵，巡视过夜聚会，处罚一切犯规，同时给予无限度的爱。
有一天，你的孩子，他们也将同你一样去爱，决不考虑代价。
养育一个孩子，18年，16万美元，真的昂贵吗？
说明： 2005年美国人均GDP为$ 41,800，中国是13919元人民币。社会越发达，养育孩子的相对成本越高、压力越大。因此按道理说，现在中国主流家庭养育三个孩子应该压力不大。但是由于住房、教育、医疗三座大山，中国养孩子压力非常大。
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. <br>Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and or ganize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this!; You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
;** AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT EVER!!! **